Femslash week in review: 2025-04-08 - 2025-04-14
Apr. 22nd, 2025 09:35 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
letzanHigh-level stats for week of 2025-04-08 - 2025-04-14
- Total works categorized F/F on AO3: 10029 (+176 from last week)
- Works I classified F/F: 5766 (+236 from last week) (2599 new, 3167 continued)
- 0.66% of all 875663 AO3 works I've classified F/F were updated this week
A few callouts this week:
- BanG Dream! It's MyGO!!!!! reaches a best-ever rank of 14 in its third week on the chart.
- New RPG Zenless Zone Zero enters the chart for the first time this week. Hey Duggee also returns after a week away. These two replace Once Upon a Time (whose most recent run was 8 consecutive weeks), and The 100.
- The Wicked Years Series celebrates 20 consecutive chart appearances (out of 40 total appearances).
( Full top-20 table and description of methodology after the jump )
Weekend Update - Easter Weekend
Apr. 21st, 2025 08:45 pmbrickhousewenchI’ve been feeling sort of low grade crappy ever since I came back from Texas. I wouldn’t say that I was sick, more like my body was trying not to be sick. I didn’t really have any symptoms other than feeling low energy and having one side of my nose feeling congested. But whatever was up there wasn’t moving in either direction, despite some ferocious attempts at nose blowing on my part. When I was down in South Carolina visiting my folks I finally broke down one night and went to CVS and bought a nasal decongestant inhaler (camphor and menthol, *snorts*), and then the next night I bought Nyquil and Dayquil. I should have started the Nyquil a day or two sooner, because when I drugged myself, I finally started sleeping better.
But then I didn’t keep up with the Nyquil when I got home, and the “meh” feeling just kept dragging on endlessly. I think I finally kicked it this weekend. Or at least I finally got caught up enough on my sleep that I don’t feel like Dead Woman Walking anymore.
I had vaguely considered attending one of the No King protests on Saturday. But I hadn’t had time to track down any poster board or cardboard to make a sign. And hadn’t figured out where I wanted to go. Adding in the fact that it was the 250th anniversary of Lexington and Concord meant that traffic was going to be insane everywhere. As it turns out, I didn’t set the alarm and ended up sleeping almost until noon. Yeah, I needed that. The closest local protest was from 11:00 - 1:00, and I certainly wasn’t ready to bounce out of bed and hustle over there. I wanted a slow morning. So I was slothful and spent the day reading and just generally doing nothing all day.
It was just what I needed.
Sunday I set the alarm for 8:00 and was up around 8:30, feeling decently rested. But not super motivated. I spent the day alternating reading and some slow housework. After I finished my book (I’m re-reading the Bruno Chief of Police series, turns out I was several books behind and I’m finally getting into the new ones I haven’t read yet) then I finished reading the new cookbook I bought. Facebook has been showing me various comedians on Reels, and I’ve clicked on Matteo Lane enough times to stumble across the fact that he’s written a cookbook, Your Pasta Sucks. He’s an Italian/Irish/Mexican comic, who, if you can’t tell by the cover, is also a gay man. He’s spent quite a bit of time in Italy, so I was curious about his take on Italian cooking. Plus, he’s sassy as hell. It was a fun read. I need to finish up some of my stock of pasta and sauce before I can try any of the recipes, but I’m looking forward to trying them. Once I finished reading that, I started trying to get caught up on Dreamwidth. I am So. Far. Behind. Like a month behind. But since my friends list is relatively small, I’m trying to make sure to go back and read everything I’ve missed.
In the afternoon a bunch of family traipsed into the condo to visit the next door neighbors. They’re the ones where the father is losing his hearing and uses his outdoor voice indoors. And apparently the grandchild that he likes to tease was visiting, there was lots of noise making from grandpa and that resulted in loud shrieking from said grandkinder. I really hate when I have to wear earplugs in my own home in order to enjoy a quiet holiday. GRRRRRR.
Someday I will own a house, with space between me and my neighbors. At least that’s the dream.
But then I didn’t keep up with the Nyquil when I got home, and the “meh” feeling just kept dragging on endlessly. I think I finally kicked it this weekend. Or at least I finally got caught up enough on my sleep that I don’t feel like Dead Woman Walking anymore.
I had vaguely considered attending one of the No King protests on Saturday. But I hadn’t had time to track down any poster board or cardboard to make a sign. And hadn’t figured out where I wanted to go. Adding in the fact that it was the 250th anniversary of Lexington and Concord meant that traffic was going to be insane everywhere. As it turns out, I didn’t set the alarm and ended up sleeping almost until noon. Yeah, I needed that. The closest local protest was from 11:00 - 1:00, and I certainly wasn’t ready to bounce out of bed and hustle over there. I wanted a slow morning. So I was slothful and spent the day reading and just generally doing nothing all day.
It was just what I needed.
Sunday I set the alarm for 8:00 and was up around 8:30, feeling decently rested. But not super motivated. I spent the day alternating reading and some slow housework. After I finished my book (I’m re-reading the Bruno Chief of Police series, turns out I was several books behind and I’m finally getting into the new ones I haven’t read yet) then I finished reading the new cookbook I bought. Facebook has been showing me various comedians on Reels, and I’ve clicked on Matteo Lane enough times to stumble across the fact that he’s written a cookbook, Your Pasta Sucks. He’s an Italian/Irish/Mexican comic, who, if you can’t tell by the cover, is also a gay man. He’s spent quite a bit of time in Italy, so I was curious about his take on Italian cooking. Plus, he’s sassy as hell. It was a fun read. I need to finish up some of my stock of pasta and sauce before I can try any of the recipes, but I’m looking forward to trying them. Once I finished reading that, I started trying to get caught up on Dreamwidth. I am So. Far. Behind. Like a month behind. But since my friends list is relatively small, I’m trying to make sure to go back and read everything I’ve missed.
In the afternoon a bunch of family traipsed into the condo to visit the next door neighbors. They’re the ones where the father is losing his hearing and uses his outdoor voice indoors. And apparently the grandchild that he likes to tease was visiting, there was lots of noise making from grandpa and that resulted in loud shrieking from said grandkinder. I really hate when I have to wear earplugs in my own home in order to enjoy a quiet holiday. GRRRRRR.
Someday I will own a house, with space between me and my neighbors. At least that’s the dream.
Dictionary words
Apr. 21st, 2025 10:44 pmcosmolinguistThe one thing about discord that I wish I could get on Signal is different names for different group chats. I'm the only Firstname Lastname LinkedIn-sona in this new trans group I've joined; everyone else has a single lowercase noun for a name, like a normal person.
I hosted a hybrid meeting today, and when D asked who was coming, the names I gave him were one animal, two vegetable, and one mineral.
5 Wants + Shadow work metacognition
Apr. 20th, 2025 06:58 pmflamingsword5 Wants + underlying Unmet Needs: ( Read more... )
In shadow work news, either I’m really good at sliding sideways around things that make me uncomfortable, or the people who wrote the Shadow work prompts I’ve been using are way too fucking neurotypical for the way they frame things to be helpful for me. Like, the last prompts implied that I should rate my loved ones on a hierarchy? Which does make me uncomfortable, but for autism-type “my brain doesn’t do that” reasons and not “this is a part of yourself that your past has taught you to disavow” type reasons. I may need to go get a library card and check out some print media on the subject, or just start doing a bunch more thinking about the questions and figuring out whether they can even be helpful or if I need to rewrite them the way I rewrote so much of the cisheteropatriarchy out of the CBT workbook prompts here.
In shadow work news, either I’m really good at sliding sideways around things that make me uncomfortable, or the people who wrote the Shadow work prompts I’ve been using are way too fucking neurotypical for the way they frame things to be helpful for me. Like, the last prompts implied that I should rate my loved ones on a hierarchy? Which does make me uncomfortable, but for autism-type “my brain doesn’t do that” reasons and not “this is a part of yourself that your past has taught you to disavow” type reasons. I may need to go get a library card and check out some print media on the subject, or just start doing a bunch more thinking about the questions and figuring out whether they can even be helpful or if I need to rewrite them the way I rewrote so much of the cisheteropatriarchy out of the CBT workbook prompts here.
Social Media Note: Hey.Cafe
Apr. 20th, 2025 07:39 pmdewlineSo...I signed up for another service today.
https://hey.cafe/@dewline
Hey.Cafe is Canadian-owned and operated, and if I lose access to US-based services because of national/international security, there'll still be this, right?
https://hey.cafe/@dewline
Hey.Cafe is Canadian-owned and operated, and if I lose access to US-based services because of national/international security, there'll still be this, right?
So behind
Apr. 20th, 2025 07:17 pmbrickhousewenchFrom all the traveling I've been doing this spring I'm about three weeks behind on reading Dreamwidth. I started trying to catch up this weekend, so if you get a bunch of comments on ancient posts, that's why!
Illness and wrecking this journal
Apr. 20th, 2025 05:16 pmflamingswordI bought a Wreck This Journal at Half-Price Books on Monday because I am trying to find and dig in to the places that are uncomfortable this year, and I figure this might go along with the Shadow work? We’ll see. So far I’m mostly just having a small amount of fun … despite the intestinal wackness.
Bc I’m also sick today. Stepdad’s hour in the bathroom the other day seems to have been a picked up stomach bug from somewhere, and ofc he’s given it to Mom and I. It’s gross, but not actually much more painful or tired than is normal for me. I canceled today’s plans and need to text some folks about stocking up on ginger tea and electrolytes just in case I was contagious yesterday. Most intestinal things are fairly short of incubation period - even if they have a long period of contagion - so everyone I saw before Friday should be safe. But that still leaves a fair few people I’ve seen.
I am not best pleased by this, but it could be much worse, I suppose. I could have been contagious the first couple days here and gotten immune compromised folx sick. That would suuuuuuck.
Hope y’all are having a less crappy day than me, and that you get a Wreck This Journal if you are a perfectionist or afraid of annotating your books, your possessions, or your life. ✌️
Bc I’m also sick today. Stepdad’s hour in the bathroom the other day seems to have been a picked up stomach bug from somewhere, and ofc he’s given it to Mom and I. It’s gross, but not actually much more painful or tired than is normal for me. I canceled today’s plans and need to text some folks about stocking up on ginger tea and electrolytes just in case I was contagious yesterday. Most intestinal things are fairly short of incubation period - even if they have a long period of contagion - so everyone I saw before Friday should be safe. But that still leaves a fair few people I’ve seen.
I am not best pleased by this, but it could be much worse, I suppose. I could have been contagious the first couple days here and gotten immune compromised folx sick. That would suuuuuuck.
Hope y’all are having a less crappy day than me, and that you get a Wreck This Journal if you are a perfectionist or afraid of annotating your books, your possessions, or your life. ✌️
Review: Blind (블라인드) (2011)
Apr. 20th, 2025 01:42 pmphaneroA simple but thrilling story. Worth a watch for those who like mystery thrillers.
Spoilers.
( Read more... )
Spoilers.
( Read more... )
Shadow work post
Apr. 20th, 2025 08:33 amflamingsword8. What are the three most important relationships in your life, and how have they influenced your beliefs about who you are?
Do people really do this? Like, I get the Circle of Trust exercise where you evaluate between people you tell certain things to, or have certain people you trust with some things that you don’t entrust to everyone. But like, ranking people as most important? Which of your limbs is most important?
I learn things about myself from all of my friends, and keep or change behaviors accordingly. It doesn’t matter whether they’re “most important” to me or not. I know thatnyyki, genderjumper, and ot_atma have commented on my behavior and personality the most often, bc I’m around them fairly often and few topics are off-limits from me. Does that make them more important than other folks in my network? *shakes head in consternation*
9. What kind of people do you attract around you?
I attract all sorts of people, really, but only some are welcome to stay. I don’t tend to keep mooches/users around me anymore because now when they make those early asks for things bigger than our friendship warrants I will comment on how our relationship isn’t there yet. Just having the most simple verbal boundary is enough to discourage 90% of the goddamn vampires out there. Mooches don’t like to hear people tell the truth about them to their faces, so any signal that I’m going to tell them stuff their inflated sense of entitlement can’t deal with means that they will export themselves from my life.
Now I need to learn meta-communication skills about feeling alienated from someone, since that was one of the problematic things about my relationship with Ghost, my relationship with Xenoix, … lots of my relationships, both “romantic” and platonic. It’s not that I “attract” aloof/avoidant people, I think I just don’t know how to call out the withdrawal behaviors or know how to ask for things I need but can’t identify in the moment. I might have to go back to doing the “5 wants 5 unmet needs” journal entries soon. Not that I’m planning on starting new relationships anytime soon, but … it’s kind of not fair for me to ask what other people need so that I get to help them and then not let them know how to offer help in return. It’s lopsided, imbalanced, unsustainable.
Gotta fix that.
Do people really do this? Like, I get the Circle of Trust exercise where you evaluate between people you tell certain things to, or have certain people you trust with some things that you don’t entrust to everyone. But like, ranking people as most important? Which of your limbs is most important?
I learn things about myself from all of my friends, and keep or change behaviors accordingly. It doesn’t matter whether they’re “most important” to me or not. I know that
nyyki, genderjumper, and ot_atma have commented on my behavior and personality the most often, bc I’m around them fairly often and few topics are off-limits from me. Does that make them more important than other folks in my network? *shakes head in consternation* 9. What kind of people do you attract around you?
I attract all sorts of people, really, but only some are welcome to stay. I don’t tend to keep mooches/users around me anymore because now when they make those early asks for things bigger than our friendship warrants I will comment on how our relationship isn’t there yet. Just having the most simple verbal boundary is enough to discourage 90% of the goddamn vampires out there. Mooches don’t like to hear people tell the truth about them to their faces, so any signal that I’m going to tell them stuff their inflated sense of entitlement can’t deal with means that they will export themselves from my life.
Now I need to learn meta-communication skills about feeling alienated from someone, since that was one of the problematic things about my relationship with Ghost, my relationship with Xenoix, … lots of my relationships, both “romantic” and platonic. It’s not that I “attract” aloof/avoidant people, I think I just don’t know how to call out the withdrawal behaviors or know how to ask for things I need but can’t identify in the moment. I might have to go back to doing the “5 wants 5 unmet needs” journal entries soon. Not that I’m planning on starting new relationships anytime soon, but … it’s kind of not fair for me to ask what other people need so that I get to help them and then not let them know how to offer help in return. It’s lopsided, imbalanced, unsustainable.
Gotta fix that.
Getting mad AND organizing
Apr. 19th, 2025 09:57 pmcosmolinguistI'm wondering where I can find the UK transmasc organizing. (It is probably happening on reddit or bluesky or something that I don't have an account on, I know, sigh.)
Trans mascs/men's specific oppression under the supreme court ruling should be highlighted for itself, not in relation to trans women/fems' oppression, like as an abstract "beards in ladies loos" threat/stunt. (I'm sympathetic to the desire to "gotcha" the incoherent bigotry, but there are transmascs (yes even ones growing facial hair) who are already using the ladies' room because that's the way their safety calculations end up. Also I don't love the idea that beards or any other symbol of masculinity is inherently antithetical to, or exclusive of, femininity.)
Not only do TERFs talk about their "sisters" and "daughters" being swayed into "mutilating their bodies by gender ideology," books discussing this have been international bestsellers. Transphobic writers like Jesse Singal have made a career from anti-transmasculinity as well as transmisogyny.
One of the ways the UKSC ruling seems incoherent (from what I understand, I haven't read it all) is that while it says trans women should be excluded from women's spaces, it also says trans men should be excluded from women's spaces because of the "masculinising" effects of the testosterone we are all presumed to take. (This isn't surprising at least -- the TERFery that informed the decision takes a zero tolerance approach to testosterone -- but it never gets less baffling.)
This leaves trans men/mascs in a very weird position.
For example, can transmascs be removed from women's refuges if they take testosterone because it might "trigger" "survivors" (a status that of course no transmasc person could have, in this worldview)...? And of course I agree that a women's refuge isn't a great place for a transmasc person! But neither can we be left to just fend for ourselves around domestic violence.
A friend joked that if we can't be held in either male or female prison populations does this mean we can't be jailed, but their partner pointed out that transmasc people would likely just be held in solitary confinement.
Anyway. It occurred to me that most of the trans community I have -- certainly the activisty part -- is transfem, so before and after yesterday's protest I made some efforts to find both more trans advocacy and more transmasc community.
I'm in more WhatsApp groups and Discord servers now (sigh...especially because discord has found a new way to be inaccessible for me today! I literally can't scroll downwards!q), but I have plans to join some in-person gatherings this week too.
Review: GBRB Reap What You Sow (콩콩팥팥) (2023)
Apr. 19th, 2025 12:43 pmphaneroTo be honest I’m not sure why I watched this show to the end. To be honest I found it a bit repetitive and dragged out. But I suppose you’d enjoy it if you liked the cast members.
( Read more... )
( Read more... )
Making Sense of Myself
Apr. 18th, 2025 08:52 pmdewlineOne more piece falling into place, maybe.
https://thinkingautismguide.com/2024/05/what-makes-a-home-feel-safe-for-autistic-people.html
https://thinkingautismguide.com/2024/05/what-makes-a-home-feel-safe-for-autistic-people.html
Trans rights and trans joy
Apr. 18th, 2025 10:55 pmcosmolinguistD and I went to a trans demo in town and then stayed out drinking because it's our anniversary and we like to celebrate by re-creating how we got together: it took a pub crawl for us to fess up to our feelings for each other after a dozen years or so of being those good friends who everyone just thinks are a couple.
I'm in a couple more WhatsApp/Discord groups now for trans stuff, there's plans for wider organizing around the shittiness lately, and I'm as in love with D as ever. It's been a good day, making and reinforcing connections